Let’s face it — you’re probably going to lose your fantasy league this year. Sure, you can have a thorough cheat sheet, pore over rankings and sleeper lists, do practice mock drafts, read endless auction tips/draft strategy advice, and even memorize all of our 50 top prospects, but one elbow tweak here or hamstring pull there and you’re donezo. You can only control so much. But one thing you can control — one thing you can dominate — is your fantasy baseball team name. You can have a good one, a funny one, a clever one — you can have the best one. And we’re here to help.

And by “help”, of course, we mean give you a hundred-plus bad team names so you know what not to pick for yours. OK, maybe there are a few good ones below, but not all are winners. We know that. We’re just trying to get your creativity flowing so you can come up with something better. We believe in you. You can beat “Boot Scooter Boogie”. You might not be able to top “Here’s My Number, Colome Maybe” or “Cron Thugs-N-Harmony”, but you can definitely do better than “I Did It All for the Mookie”. (Note, not all are references to music from 20-plus years ago…just 90 percent.). 

DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2019 cheat sheet

You can go political (“Greene New Deal”) or entertainment-related (“Assistant to the Regional Haniger”); baseball-related (“Advanced Gleybermetrics”) or crude (“Dee’s Nuts!”); clever (“Only the Good DeJong”) or something that really makes a powerful social justice statement (“Can’t We All Just Get a Wong?”). 

Ultimately, the best team names are going to be references to inside jokes among your leaguemates or something so crude we can’t publish it here, so we’re offering mostly PG-rated puns off player names. You have your own pool of references from which to draw, so make it count. Winning the team name battle is arguably more important than winning the league, and unlike in drafts where only one team has a shot at Mike Trout, anyone can walk away from this round of battle knowing they’ve made the best choice.

2019 Fantasy Baseball Rankings:
Catcher | First | Second | Third | Short | Outfield | Starter | Reliever | Top 300

Best Fantasy Baseball Team Names 2019

Won’t You Be My Gleyber?

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Gleyberhood

Welcome to the Gleyberhood

Advanced Gleybermetrics

Blowup Dahls

Dahl or Nothing

Dee’s Nuts! (or Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez Nuuuuuuuuts!)

J.D.’s Nuts

Story-book Ending

Syndergaardians of the Galaxy

Sano Plows/Sano Patrol

Sano? More like Sa-yes!

Cron Thugs-N-Harmony

Walker Buehler’s Day Off

Buehler? Buehler? Anyone?

SkyWalker/MoonWalker

Snell You Later

Only the Good DeJong

Machado Man

Here Come Da Judge

Judgement Day

At Whit’s End

StrawMerrifield’s Forever

Merrifield of Dreams

Arodys Less Traveled

Baez Beware

New World Odor

Odor Eaters

Humble Bregman

Sho Maeda Money

Come Avisail Away

Wil Power

Orphan Blackmon

Can’t We All Just Get a Wong?

In Da Kluber

House of Syndergaards

Sons of the Harper

For Whom The Bellinger Tolls

Hell’s Bellinger

Freddie’s Revenge

Land of the Freeman

Bryce is Right

Price is Right

Praise the Lourdes

Praise Jesus

Praise Godley

Acuna Matata

Cruz Control

Full Nelson

Bunch of Hicks

Keep It Realmuto

Place Your Betts

I Did It All For The Mookie

Severino’d Heads

Dirty Sanchez’s

Modern Familia/We are Familia/Familia Ties/Familia Matters

Modern Phamily/We are Phamily/Phamily Ties/Phamily Matters

Do Not Pass Margot

Do Not Pass Gomes

Don’t Be a Hader

Don’t Hader The Player, Hader the Game

Player Hader’s Ball

H-to-the-Rizzo

Rizzo-rectors

DJ Jazzy Jeffress and the Fresh Prince (Even though neither might be getting saves, it’s worth it to get both Jeremy Jeffress and Will Smith for this one)

Steckenriders on the Storm

Wacha Wacha Wacha

Wacha Flocka Flame

MasterBaders

…More like LongBoria

All-You-Can-Eat Salazar

Soler Powered

Cole Powered

Goldschmidt Happens

Oops! I Goldschmidt My Pants!

Don’t Bogaerts That Joint!

Rebel Yelich

Onward Christian Soldiers

Christian Missionaries

Jerry Gergich’s Muncy Timeshare (Shout out “Parks N Rec”)

TreaHive

18 Wheeler

Grandal Slam

Cain is Able

Rosario Beads

On the Contreras

Deep Sea Devers

Pearly Yates

PostYates

Whirling Darvish

Knebel Prize Winner

Bull Doziers

I Would Walk 500 Miles

To the Max/Max Power

I Literally Can’t Steven

The Last Strasburg/Final Strasburg

There Goes My Masahiro/Masahiro for a Day/Super Masahiro

Target Archery

100-Voit Battery

Andujar Sausage

Correan BBQ

Lamb Chops

Rhys’ Pieces

Kiermaier Lemons

Eggs Odorizzi

Shot of Jameson

Eaton Good

Hail to the Victors

Old Buddy, Old Chapman

How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Grichuk?

I’d Like to Speak With Your Haniger

Assistant to the Regional Haniger (Shout out “The Office”)

Gallo’s Humor

SharkArenado

Jumping deGrom

Dancing with the Starlings

Yasieled With a Kiss

Three A-Puigos

Bauer Play

Corbin in the Woods

Springer Has Sprung

Forget You and the Horse You Rodon

Carry on My Heyward Sons

Safe and Segura

All I Do is Edwin

Dead Enders

Here’s My Number, Colome Maybe

True Belieber

Berrios Boys

Smoak Monster

Where There’s Smoak…

Brains and Braun

Bouquet of Flores

Wilmer’s Glue

Candelario Lit Dinner

It’s Not Easy Being Greene

Greene New Deal

Happ-y Go Lucky

Boot Scooter Boogie

Electric Scooters

Choo-lander

What’s in the Booooooox(berger)?

Gettin’ Miggy With It

Reversible Belts

The Big Kang Theory

DeShields Up

Roundhouse Kikuchi



ViaSportingNews

Author Since: Sep 20, 2018